I know you're hurt. It hurts me to see you hurt. You told me you don't want to hurt me ever. Prove it!
I care for you. Trust me. I would do anything to make you happy. I know you love me and I love you too. All the feelings that I have for you was true and believe me, you will always be in my heart. Please forgive me for the pain that you have now. I felt that the guilt is haunting me now and it breaks my heart apart.
Please don't break us cos this is the only thing that we have now and I can't afford to lose you.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
VOTE FOR ME!
VOTE FOR ME FOR TOP 10 FHM GND!!
My GND number is GND47!
sms format:
FHM4GND47[Your Name][Your Nric][Your Email]
I NEED YOUR SUPPORT!!!!!
If you would like to see more of my pictures, FIND me on Facebook. Just type my name:"Nina Mareta Kosasih". I know it's a bit long but it worth the type. hahaha....
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
FHM top 100 GND
And... Here it is ....... and suddenlyy....
Ok Let me start from the beginning.
I was in desperate mode to get more cash in my hand cos of some things happened to me. I've been modeling for about 6 months now. And I came across this opening. It's an opening for FHM Girls Next Door 2009. Desperate to get fame in order to roll in the cash as well, i sent a few of my pics afterward i felt ashamed to myself. As though there are 2 voices shouting at each other. "how can you send your own picture there? You think you are f***ing pretty? you think you are damn hot???" the other voice said "it's alright. it's just for fun. No harm done anyway. just forget about this."
So.... I followed my second voice. I started to forget that even though my other voice kept on screaming and i ignored it.
About a month and a half, FHM contacted my through email. It gave me a sudden blood rush to my brain and leashed out my sweat. ir stated that i was pre-selected for FHM top 100 GND. I asked around what it meant by pre-selected. Still need to go audition for top 100 or what??
Well... i needed to go to their studio for a photoshoot. it was about a week from the day i read the email.
I started my diet 3 days before the shoot. I had to. I have rather protruding stomach if i eat solid food.
The day of the photoshoot had arrived and i hadn't enough sleep the night before. I was excited, scared and restless. I scheduled my shoot at 4pm. I reached the studio 3.45pm to show that i treat this thing seriously.
When i was outside the studio, i saw one girl going off the studio. I guess she is a malay with a nice features and body. I was thrilled, devastated and my confidence start to drained out. I told myself, it's ok you're doing this just for fun. My confidence went back a bit.
I was told to fill in a form and read the statements behind the form. It stated there that i have already chosen as one of the top 100 GND. And i still couldn't believe it. It only made my whole body shook nervous and excited.
One of the guys asked me to get ready for my turn. I put on my make up byt i couldn't do it properly as my hands shook. I had to use 2 hands to apply mascara. one holding the mascara, one holding my other shaking hand putting my mascara. Now, make-up done and my bikini was done as well. Time to show my posing skill. hahaha...
So there i went in. It as less than 3 mins. It was like a .... blitz of a light and it was done!
So all the devastation and excitement were for that 3 minutes!
I went home and try to forget it.
I received an email yesterday night that my picture will be out on the 13th March 2009 for FHM top 100 GND. Thrilled and start to "book" my friend to vote me. So kiasu............. Haiz....
Ok Let me start from the beginning.
I was in desperate mode to get more cash in my hand cos of some things happened to me. I've been modeling for about 6 months now. And I came across this opening. It's an opening for FHM Girls Next Door 2009. Desperate to get fame in order to roll in the cash as well, i sent a few of my pics afterward i felt ashamed to myself. As though there are 2 voices shouting at each other. "how can you send your own picture there? You think you are f***ing pretty? you think you are damn hot???" the other voice said "it's alright. it's just for fun. No harm done anyway. just forget about this."
So.... I followed my second voice. I started to forget that even though my other voice kept on screaming and i ignored it.
About a month and a half, FHM contacted my through email. It gave me a sudden blood rush to my brain and leashed out my sweat. ir stated that i was pre-selected for FHM top 100 GND. I asked around what it meant by pre-selected. Still need to go audition for top 100 or what??
Well... i needed to go to their studio for a photoshoot. it was about a week from the day i read the email.
I started my diet 3 days before the shoot. I had to. I have rather protruding stomach if i eat solid food.
The day of the photoshoot had arrived and i hadn't enough sleep the night before. I was excited, scared and restless. I scheduled my shoot at 4pm. I reached the studio 3.45pm to show that i treat this thing seriously.
When i was outside the studio, i saw one girl going off the studio. I guess she is a malay with a nice features and body. I was thrilled, devastated and my confidence start to drained out. I told myself, it's ok you're doing this just for fun. My confidence went back a bit.
I was told to fill in a form and read the statements behind the form. It stated there that i have already chosen as one of the top 100 GND. And i still couldn't believe it. It only made my whole body shook nervous and excited.
One of the guys asked me to get ready for my turn. I put on my make up byt i couldn't do it properly as my hands shook. I had to use 2 hands to apply mascara. one holding the mascara, one holding my other shaking hand putting my mascara. Now, make-up done and my bikini was done as well. Time to show my posing skill. hahaha...
So there i went in. It as less than 3 mins. It was like a .... blitz of a light and it was done!
So all the devastation and excitement were for that 3 minutes!
I went home and try to forget it.
I received an email yesterday night that my picture will be out on the 13th March 2009 for FHM top 100 GND. Thrilled and start to "book" my friend to vote me. So kiasu............. Haiz....
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Just Some Crap
People said love sets you free.
And I thought we should listen and follow our screaming heart.
But why I found the love that I feel right now forbidden?
And why am i now forced to ignore my pure heart crying?
Am I not supposed to feel this love?
Or all that I feel now is not for eternity.
Who should judge?
And I thought we should listen and follow our screaming heart.
But why I found the love that I feel right now forbidden?
And why am i now forced to ignore my pure heart crying?
Am I not supposed to feel this love?
Or all that I feel now is not for eternity.
Who should judge?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
WTF
Oh.... And now everything is my fault.
My fault for being too ignorance about relationship etiquette. Guide me! I know nuts about anything! You are my parents... you supposed to educate me!
It's just like, i wake up from my sleep and found so many fingers pointing at me for creating a stupid situation.
I repeat to you again... I DON'T KNOW ANY FUCKING THING!
Just SPEAK to me like you supposed to. If you don't wanna feel worry, ASK me question. If you want me to know things, TELL me straight to my damn face!
TALK TO ME!!!
why is it so hard to just talk to me?
Don't expect me not to bang anything while I'm searching in the dark. Who asked you to leave me alone in the dark to find my way. Give my some light! A little light will do and I'm not asking you to take the whole sun to light me.
I'm tired of feeling guilty. I never asked to become an apple of your heart. This makes me go crazy. Please.... If anything happens to you, I don't want to be the one who's responsible for this. I didn't have a chance to choose my own way.
Just stop putting more and more responsibility on my shoulder. It got no more space. It got no more strength to carry anything anymore.
All i wanna ask is just to let me go a little bit. Please give me some air to breathe!
My fault for being too ignorance about relationship etiquette. Guide me! I know nuts about anything! You are my parents... you supposed to educate me!
It's just like, i wake up from my sleep and found so many fingers pointing at me for creating a stupid situation.
I repeat to you again... I DON'T KNOW ANY FUCKING THING!
Just SPEAK to me like you supposed to. If you don't wanna feel worry, ASK me question. If you want me to know things, TELL me straight to my damn face!
TALK TO ME!!!
why is it so hard to just talk to me?
Don't expect me not to bang anything while I'm searching in the dark. Who asked you to leave me alone in the dark to find my way. Give my some light! A little light will do and I'm not asking you to take the whole sun to light me.
I'm tired of feeling guilty. I never asked to become an apple of your heart. This makes me go crazy. Please.... If anything happens to you, I don't want to be the one who's responsible for this. I didn't have a chance to choose my own way.
Just stop putting more and more responsibility on my shoulder. It got no more space. It got no more strength to carry anything anymore.
All i wanna ask is just to let me go a little bit. Please give me some air to breathe!
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Is it true?
i'm wondering... what on earth human are created for? what on earth all the plant and all the animal are created for?
they live and they die... just to destroy the earth?
Human make a living in the earth. sometimes they can be honest to make money, they can cheat each other even kill each other.. but for what purpose?
Is it true when we do kindness we all will go to heaven?
What is heaven? what is hell?
What is good and what is bad?
What is religion? I thought religion is created by human. So those cave man who are cannibal by culture.... can they be called sinners? i don't think they know what is the meaning of sin. will they go to hell?
All these question popped up in my head. just suddenly. And i have the urge to spit it out.
they live and they die... just to destroy the earth?
Human make a living in the earth. sometimes they can be honest to make money, they can cheat each other even kill each other.. but for what purpose?
Is it true when we do kindness we all will go to heaven?
What is heaven? what is hell?
What is good and what is bad?
What is religion? I thought religion is created by human. So those cave man who are cannibal by culture.... can they be called sinners? i don't think they know what is the meaning of sin. will they go to hell?
All these question popped up in my head. just suddenly. And i have the urge to spit it out.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
..
Feel a bit down today. Maybe cos he didn't come back home last night.
*Sigh*
Why the hell am i sooo madly in love?
So maybe that's why he's my bf...
What am i talking..???
................
*Sigh*
Why the hell am i sooo madly in love?
So maybe that's why he's my bf...
What am i talking..???
................
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